a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
