His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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