I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
