i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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