there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
