My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
