OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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