Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this just has baby written all over it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dick very happy bro
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
