Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the day after is always just damage control
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
send nudes
from the living room?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
