oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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