Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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