somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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