Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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