Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
