She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
