OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
