Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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