I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
