Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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