Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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