So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
