Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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