you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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