if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
