if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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