i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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