is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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