Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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