okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
