and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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