drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
