I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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