Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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