so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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