is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
