And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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