Come see our sink grown plant.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
