are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize