suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
