Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am available for nakedness
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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