champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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