All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
