Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
