i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
