More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
