plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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