if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
