Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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