Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They took my balls.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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