can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
