I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I touched a dick in church today
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
