This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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