The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
