I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
