so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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