So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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