Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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