i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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