im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I won the penis lottery.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
