I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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