I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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